Seemed like the first day of work with a different mindset. My objective was to finish as much work as I can before I go on a 3 week (medical) leave. It's just like anyone else who is going on a holiday.
I met with a few colleagues on my way to my cubicle and they looked at me 'differently'. Yes, differently. It's not like any other usual morning. It couldn't be because it's Monday. It's because they knew. I was surprised that they knew. I became weary, not because my heart is sadden over my plight. I am sadden by the invisible pressure from others.
Although I am, on the surface, a very open and happy go lucky person to many. But I prefer to have my own privacy. I never like to display my issues/problems/secrets openly. I dun need such attention and I think I never will. I am a little bit angry that news spread and being in this orgn for so long, I know it is inevitable.
I sent out a few emails to affected parties and thought of alternatives for day to day operations to continue in my absence. I tied all my paper work and labeled them clearly. I kept my table clean. That's me and it always will.
I checked my time and it's time for my lunch! I've looked forward to this lunch as I'm meeting my good old pals to break the news to them personally. I just felt they need to know and I've all the answers to their questions, almost. We planned to meet at Bakerzin at Northpoint. I was lucky today, an oncoming bus and a taxi stopped in front of me and we took the latter.
Lunch was good. I had seafood sphagetti which was topped with squids, mussels and prawns. I just have to have them before the op. After that, I will stop. Maybe...
The 4 of us was cheerful, they waited patiently for me to update them on what they dun know yet. They gave me advices which I took note. Thet were supportive. One offered to cook for me when I recuperate. One offered to babysit my girl. One offered to stay over at the hospital with me. I was touched but I didnt accept them immediately. It's not I dun want to. I just couldn't. It's me. I am a giver, never a receiver. My stupid pride just won't budge. Takes time... you see... takes time.
I felt good after telling them. Even proud of it. You see, we meet often for dinners and each of us has much to share as we have gone thru different ups and downs in our own lifes. But mine has been too smooth going and all I have to share is about my girl. Now at last, I have something different. A new chapter in life. You can call me crazy but this is really how I feel. Honest.
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